Know not what led me this thought but it suddenly occurred to me this afternoon that the Telugu 'ritual' of pellichoopulu wherein a young man intending to get married, visits the girls' house, with his parents and elders. This procedure is indeed a very social and respectable one - when taken in the right sense. If it is taken as a sort of window-shopping for a bride, wherein the girl is one 'shown' as an object of 'purchase', then it certainly loses all its merits but otherwise, the procedure is worth understanding.
The first thing that occurred to me was that marriage is not just between two individuals. It is also a union of two families. Hence it makes sense for one to know the other, just as much as the boy and girl need to know each other. This makes great sense, especially in our Indian context wherein couples who get married often do not leave their parents side and continue living under the same roof. However the present form of the boys' family visiting the girls' is only a partial process. The girls' family too needs to visit the boys' house and family - after all, in most cases it is the bride who moves in with the bridegroom into his house. That alone is enough reason for the girls' family to come and see where and with whom is their daughter going to spend the rest of her life, her new family!
Secondly, it is a great 'official' moment of socialization. Even when we have a tradition of welcoming and receiving strangers as our guests, it is good to welcome a rather unknown family into our home, with the intention of extending one's family.
Finally, even in modern times when boys and girls often 'select' their life partners (rather than the earlier times when parents decide their partners), the tradition only cements this union of families. This tradition does not lose its value or can never be outdated in its intended purpose. Only hope that the other half of the girls' family visiting the boys' house too gets an equal share in this procedure!
The first thing that occurred to me was that marriage is not just between two individuals. It is also a union of two families. Hence it makes sense for one to know the other, just as much as the boy and girl need to know each other. This makes great sense, especially in our Indian context wherein couples who get married often do not leave their parents side and continue living under the same roof. However the present form of the boys' family visiting the girls' is only a partial process. The girls' family too needs to visit the boys' house and family - after all, in most cases it is the bride who moves in with the bridegroom into his house. That alone is enough reason for the girls' family to come and see where and with whom is their daughter going to spend the rest of her life, her new family!
Secondly, it is a great 'official' moment of socialization. Even when we have a tradition of welcoming and receiving strangers as our guests, it is good to welcome a rather unknown family into our home, with the intention of extending one's family.
Finally, even in modern times when boys and girls often 'select' their life partners (rather than the earlier times when parents decide their partners), the tradition only cements this union of families. This tradition does not lose its value or can never be outdated in its intended purpose. Only hope that the other half of the girls' family visiting the boys' house too gets an equal share in this procedure!
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