Came across the following news item today:
IIT Kharagpur moves to prevent suicides; removes ceiling fans...
That's quite a way to prevent suicides!
However the news article does assure that there are more serious and substantial measures put in place by the reputed institution, to prevent students from taking this drastic step.
Nonetheless, know not how wise or sane is the move to remove ceiling fans in order to prevent suicides!
A young salesman became discouraged because he had been rejected by many of the customers that he approached. He asked a more experienced salesman for some advice. “Why is it that every time I make a call on someone I get rejected?”
“I just don’t understand that,” answered the older salesman “I’ve been hit on the head, called dirty names, and thrown out the door, but I’ve never been rejected! Remember, my son: Rejection isn’t what happens to us but how we interpret what happens to us!”
That's called having a perspective. Building and living an attitude.
Attending Mass the other day in one of the convents, and listening to their commentaries and descriptions at various points of the Mass and even before and after, it occurred to me: the use of adjectives should be banned in formation houses and convents!!
This is not the first time that I have heard words and commentaries being abused to such an extent that very beautiful words sound horrible!! Of course, there are always occasions when the Mass or any event is celebrated beautifully with great reverence and just right amount of creativity. But there are also occasions when there is an overdose of creativity and everything is exaggerated. The emphasis is mistakenly placed on impression rather than devotion. Or as someone corrected me, that's their way of expressing devotion.
I wonder if any of these people who wish to express their 'devotion' through such intricate frills (words, actions, events...) do the same with their own parents when they relate to them everyday, or even on special occasions.
Devotion and reverence, especially for us religious, is not a decoration; it is our basic lifestyle!
Fr Thomas Santiagu began his sermon the other day, saying that to be a saint is to choose to be eternal. For a saint is someone who has opted to be related to Jesus and that relationship is eternal. For this relationship and the person himself or herself to be eternal, there is no shortcut. And all that one has is this lifetime...long or short does not really matter. What counts is the intention and the intensity.
Truly, just like prayer being a relationship, rather than a string of words or rituals, so is sanctity. And to be holy, is to actually enter into a relationship with the Divine. This is not a one day achievement, rather it is a life time work. But one who genuinely has opted and worked for this relationship, he or she has become eternal. The person continues to live on even after death. The good that the person has done resonates in different ways in the lives and works of those still alive.
On the other hand, there are some who wish to have a quick shot at fame or name. Perhaps they should join the film industry. Perhaps some of us religious too are in the wrong field of life!!!
Last month we had a session on accompaniment, wherein Fr Raja spoke quite lucidly about the four different stages or levels of spiritual growth and the type of recommended accompaniment at each stage. The first stage is a very shallow level where individuals are basically self-centred and selfish. Those at this stage need to be supported and encouraged to engage in an honest self-appraisal, rather than be endorsed or consoled!
The next level of faith, is institutional. Most of us fall under that category. God is seen as external, formal, rigorous, legalistic and dogmatic. Accompaniment at this level is gentle, with a slight nudge towards internalisation and the next level.
The third level is a more mature level, but hardly follows any order. This is perhaps the most unsettling stage for young people who find it difficult to balance the traditional faith inherited from their parents (second level) and the disconnect they feel within themselves to accepting this faith. Hence the inner turmoil. This is a stage where people tend to explore, not with the intent of rebellion but a genuine interest in deepening one's idea of God, spirituality and religion. People herein seek logical answers to their queries; rather than magical rites. They tend to take ownership of their own faith. Accompanying them, one shouldn't push them to engage in traditional religious practices, which they often rebel against. They do not reject faith as such, but inherited faith.
We keep shuffling between these three levels, never stuck at any one particular. Maturity lies in moving towards the third stage; and touching the fourth stage (mystical).
The last stage is mystical, where interconnectedness is emphasised, community is valued greater than individuals, lack of answers and logic does not perturb much, and is perhaps a mix of the second (dogmatic) and the third (rational) stages.
Listening to him, I asked myself: Are we as a Province (confreres put together) at the third stage of religious consciousness/spirituality; whereas the orientation of the accompaniment offered by the leadership is of the second stage!?? … our emphasis on the routines, rituals, dogmas, whereas individuals are undergoing a phase of faith-loss, and in the process of search for truth. That said, there are some clearly very much in stage one (self-centred and even anti-social).
I've begun to realise that we often miss including or remembering to include the accessories and other tiny aspects of the bigger plans and projects. Every time we prepare and budget a project, we tend to miss out the small aspects that also cost and need finance! We either take those needs for granted or at that time, feel that we can manage, without funding for them.
Worst part of this issue is that the complementary part or item that is not listed costs as much as the whole project itself!!
We get an RO water plant; but end up paying the same amount for the accessories (pipes to the water outlets, water tanks, taps, motors, tin shed to cover it, exit pipes...)
In our project proposal for a new building, we include only the construction costs; but fail to see the hidden costs, before, during and after the construction. Even the ones directly related to construction, leave alone complementary or not related to construction. Building permissions, land conversion, architects plans, demolishing and clearing existing sheds or rubble, water connection, non-salty water for curing and construction, 3-phase electricity connection, meter charges, transformer to the central console in the building accessories, lift (civil and equipment)...
A nice song on friendship... wish to, one day, write a story and shoot this song with small kids!
You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye
A few months ago, I came up with this 'commode theory'. It is basically a personal experience that has got me thinking and linking to life.
You see, the flush tank in my room is a very moody one. At time it functions with a single push of the button. At times, I have to keep the button pressed. At times, after the flush tank is emptied, it keeps leaking and there is a whole lot of water wasted, by the time I realise it.
Anyhow, the commode theory is about the commode! The basic premise: Shit does not always get flushed properly! This depends on a couple of factors, beside the 'quality' of shit! At times the flush tank isn't sufficiently big. Sometimes the commode itself is not designed well enough to utilise the pressure of the flush tank's water. Other times, the plumbing isn't done well.
Not everyone pays attention to this. But I'm sure everyone experiences it! However, not everyone needs to know this. Neither is there any harm in everyone knowing this. Some who know this apply the knowledge in selecting the type, model of commode. Most just don't bother, as long as there is a flush tank and a commode! Perhaps the engineer or the plumber is one who actually needs to have the best knowledge about it, but it could also be that he isn't using one (I mean, a western commode!).
At times, the ones who reflect about this, can do nothing about it - because the commode is already in place!! One only has to find hacks - like me - to make it work, the best it can!
I'm beginning to see that very many times, quite a few of us, prefer to wallow in pity and continue playing the victim, rather than get ourselves out of that situation and move on. We'd prefer to keep the wounds fresh and painful, rather than get them healed.
I guess it is a kind of adrenaline that keeps us going. Perhaps because we are frightened that there'd be nothing else that will keep us active. Or perhaps that there are other deeper and more serious wounds that these external wounds camouflage. Or it could be that we just do not want to move on.
Not sure if that's called maturity! But it certainly has much to do with it.
To ask or take up help when offered (from competent and capable people); rather than act strong.
To accept, acknowledge that not everything is known to me; apparently, about myself!
To get out of one's comfort zones... places, people, thoughts, words, discussions, ambience... that make me feel I'm ok, what I've said and done is right, without actually giving myself another re-look.
Asking myself: what am I really afraid of?
One of the insights that again came to my rescue, getting me out of my muddled thoughts and plans, was the acronym: WWJD... What would Jesus do?
This one simple phrase has been the easiest answer to most of my toughest questions. Couldn't have asked for a better, simpler and clearer way forward.
As part of the reflection along that line, it occurred to me that Jesus did not set up any institution. He merely worked in teams (apostles, two-by-two...). He initiated movements, processes.
So why not work in teams, with individuals who are not corrupted, willing to see and strive for something noble rather than be happy to play victims or engage in power struggles.
The question of leadership was a big part of my reflection before Jesus this evening. Not about leadership in general, but me being in a position of leadership right now.
If my efforts and time and energy has been invested in just the mundane, the regular aspects of religious finance and administration; bereft of anything higher or more relevant to religious life and apostolate, is that enough?
If setting right the basics, the most fundamental values of religious life - even human values - is all that I've made efforts towards, then is the responsibility of leadership worth it at all? And when day by day, we battle the same issues, cropping from the very same causes, unable to get out or even move beyond some of these so frivolous or scandalous matters, then is it worth being a leader.
It appears as if preventing matters from getting worse, is good enough! Leave alone, widening or deepening the various dimensions of our apostolate.
So what's better: repeatedly preventing something from getting worse (constant fire-fighting, settling petty clashes, calming egoistical tantrums, challenging duplicity...), as a leader OR striving for something better, as a commoner?
Today I got myself a bank account... purely for official purposes as my responsibility and role as Economer, warrants one!
The process of securing an SBI account online sounded pretty much straight forward. But the practical aspects of going through the process saw me spend more than half a day, going around in circles. It was the video KYC way that I followed, rather than the old-way manual mode of appearing and running to and fro the bank branch office, with papers and documents in hand. I was told that the former is faster and easier, if one has all the documents needed. Looking back, I agree.
The most frustrating part was getting the video call through! I spent half a day, staring at the phone or laptop screen watching the timer tick by and my order in the queue. What I did not realise (or perhaps I was lucky by noon) that after the selected slot runs out, without me getting a call, I shouldn't close the window or tab. I need to stay on and await the call. Not sure that works that way, or that I just got lucky by noon!
Anyway, the joy of having ticked off an item on one's 'to do list' is never to be underestimated!
At Don Bosco's oratory, there were all sorts of people, at work... but for the same purpose: the well-being of the boys. His own Mum, Margaret was there. So were the mother of Don Rua and a couple of other women. There were the Brothers, all his 'own men'. Don Borel, the diocesan priest. And a whole lot of others.
Nonetheless, the most interesting of these lot were his own boys, now turned into leaders or even animators. These boys who joined hands with Don Bosco, whether as Salesians or not, were with Don Bosco every step of the way. I'm sure, not all of them, or any of them, would have come into the oratory with the intention of carrying on doing what Don Bosco was doing. But being WITH Don Bosco, having EXPERIENCED first hand, the care and concern shown by Don Bosco, they were smitten. They certainly may not have been able to explain in words their reasons for staying on, quite a few of them, for a lifetime, why they opted to stay on; but they did stay on! The closest 'explanation' we get to hear is what Cagliero said: Monk, or no monk, with Don Bosco!
Don Bosco did not have a vocation promotion strategy; he didn't need one! He lived it. The rest was God's work!
But truly a genius idea and thought behind the campaign!
Perhaps I was more distracted than other days, that a couple of days ago, it struck me during the moment of consecration at Mass that the prayer says... AFTER supper, he took the cup...
I thought the bread and wine was part of the meal. But the Eucharistic prayer, on more than one occasion, states that Jesus took the cup AFTER supper!
I thought the custom of drinking wine, at any occasion, is usually before or even during meal. Not so much, after the meal! Well, I'm not an expert in that matter - neither in manners or the custom of drinking wine nor in liturgy. But looks like there's something there that I haven't paid attention to or learnt about the Eucharistic liturgy!
I'm just back from a funeral in the Parish. The deceased is a young lady, aged 28, whose parents I've known. They have been members of this Parish from the early years of the Parish.
Funerals are never easy! What was more painful at this funeral was to see the parents. Children attending the funeral of their parents is something that can be tolerated or accepted. But for parents to attend the funeral of their own child is really heart wrenching.
Whatever the past or the misunderstandings, for a parent to see a child lie lifeless is not at all easy.
The other day it was just Fr MT Sebastian and me for Mass. I forget what the gospel was or the significance of the day. But what I do remember is the reflection that he shared - not from across the altar, but coming and sitting beside me!
While that simple gesture of seating himself beside me to speak to me (not preach to me) itself meant a whole lot of what Mass is all about, his casual sharing of what the difference between the Syro-Malabar rite and Latin rite mode of celebrating the Eucharist, was something significant. He said, he was told that among the many aspects that distinguish the modes of celebrating the Mass, the former rite stresses on the aspect of a priest, representing Christ and the faithful, offering a sacrifice to God, on behalf of the people. That's why he is facing the sanctuary, with his back to the people. He is there on behalf of the people.
In the Latin rite, the Eucharist is a meal... a shared meal. Hence the priest is forming the circle with the people. He is sharing the same food, at the same level as the people!
