During my year at Ramanthapur, on the day of my b'day, my family joined me and the community in the evening celebrations. There was a grand cultural programme put up by the boys in the hall. At one certain moment, my niece came over to me and sat on my lap. I was sitting at the back of the whole group with my family. One of the youngest boys, Ganesh (I still remember him well!) aged the same as my niece - 3 years - was sitting right in front of the whole group, closest to the stage. He somehow noticed my niece on my lap. There was a strange look on his face. It was as if to say, if she can, why not I? But that was also coupled with the knowledge (far ahead of his age) that he could not. He turned back a couple of times to see if my niece was still sitting with me. I very delicately led her back to a chair, beside me.
Later during the programme, when called upon the stage to cut the cake, my nephew and niece hopped along. They are 'professional cake-cutters'! And they would never have missed this opportunity to cut the cake with me! From the stage, I dared not look in Ganesh's direction. And so I invited the whole batch of the youngest boys (Mamma Margaret home boys - we called them), all 21 or 22 of them, onto the stage to join me. They didn't need a second invitation!
This incident flashed in my mind, the moment I read the article, offering an alternative to the Golden rule. The Golden Rule asks us to do unto others what I wish done to me! The Chinese philosopher Mengzi, offers an alternative: Extend to the world, the love and reverence you already have for your parents and elders. (How Mengzi came up with something better than the Golden Rule on Aeon).
The Golden Rule actually presumes an inherent self-love as primary to human nature, rather than love for others. It basically asks one to transpose one's love for oneself, onto others. Mengzi's alternative, rests on the basic premise that as human beings we naturally love others, especially our parents, relatives and elders in our immediate community. While the goal of both the principles is the extended other, the starting point is distinct. Mengzi's extension is based on the 'we' dimension rather than the 'I' perspective. Two other distinctive characteristics, pointed out by the author Eric Schwitzgebel, of Mengzi's extension, also make great sense. One, Mengzi's extension is a lesser/easier leap than the Golden Rule: from family-to-others rather than self-to-others. Secondly, it in a way includes the starting point of the Golden Rule in as much as the extension can be applied to oneself. If I want my dear ones to enjoy kindness and empowerment I can extend/apply it to myself too!
Later during the programme, when called upon the stage to cut the cake, my nephew and niece hopped along. They are 'professional cake-cutters'! And they would never have missed this opportunity to cut the cake with me! From the stage, I dared not look in Ganesh's direction. And so I invited the whole batch of the youngest boys (Mamma Margaret home boys - we called them), all 21 or 22 of them, onto the stage to join me. They didn't need a second invitation!
This incident flashed in my mind, the moment I read the article, offering an alternative to the Golden rule. The Golden Rule asks us to do unto others what I wish done to me! The Chinese philosopher Mengzi, offers an alternative: Extend to the world, the love and reverence you already have for your parents and elders. (How Mengzi came up with something better than the Golden Rule on Aeon).
The Golden Rule actually presumes an inherent self-love as primary to human nature, rather than love for others. It basically asks one to transpose one's love for oneself, onto others. Mengzi's alternative, rests on the basic premise that as human beings we naturally love others, especially our parents, relatives and elders in our immediate community. While the goal of both the principles is the extended other, the starting point is distinct. Mengzi's extension is based on the 'we' dimension rather than the 'I' perspective. Two other distinctive characteristics, pointed out by the author Eric Schwitzgebel, of Mengzi's extension, also make great sense. One, Mengzi's extension is a lesser/easier leap than the Golden Rule: from family-to-others rather than self-to-others. Secondly, it in a way includes the starting point of the Golden Rule in as much as the extension can be applied to oneself. If I want my dear ones to enjoy kindness and empowerment I can extend/apply it to myself too!
Care about me not because you can imagine what you would selfishly want if you were me. Care about me because you see how I am not really so different from others you already love.Looking back at my interactive experiences with the boys at Ramanthapur, what guided me more than my love for myself, especially when it came to the younger ones, was my affection for Chris and Anet. After all, half of the boys were around the age of Chris.
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