Abundance

The readings of the day speak of the reason for the floods in the earliest of days, as narrated in the book of Genesis.  God sees evil prevailing and wishes for a fresh start.  In the Gospel of the day we see Jesus questioning the doubtful nature of mankind, even after witnessing his miraculous production of food for the thousands, from the little available. 

What stands out for me in both these readings is the abundance that prevails in God's presence. Yahweh decides to destroy the earth, but he makes provision for life to replenish.  He spares a human family and ensures that there is a pair of every living creature... that too a reproductive pair.  Then Jesus brings out of the little bread and fish, the abundance of food for every person present on those different occasions. 

As humans we often fail to see the abundance of goodness. We restrict our vision to the little and few.  Nothing odd or bad about that perspective.  Nonetheless, the Lord invites us to see and be part of the abundance that is bound to prevail, when in God's presence... Don Bosco's view of the Divine Providence! 

Imitation

At times and in some confreres and communities there is this bug of imitation... not of the challenging or conviction aspect of others but of the grandeur and splendour of things!  That guy has remodelled his office, so let me also renovate my office and go for false ceiling.  He has gone to Hyderabad this month, so let me also take off.  That community has put up interlocking bricks along the drive, so let's do the same. In that community, they gave us each a t-shirt for this celebration, so let's give each a pair of branded trousers this time! My rector has taken 15,000/- this month for his expenses, so will I. 

This is precisely the offshoot of a misplaced focus: when our attention and priorities shift from Jesus of the Gospel and the poor, every glittering thing appears good and necessary. It is a matter of getting our priorities right. 

Needs before wants... all the more as religious, being generous and joyful in placing the needs of the poor before my personal luxury and desires.  

Person and his/her growth before setting my own legacy in stone (through a building or property). 

Christ and his values, before my own fancy plans and eogistic castles. 

Initiating a process of change, rather than complete an event with all pomp and glamour. 

Convictions and passion

Someone admiring a very old, large and ornate Cathedral, especially its design, craftsmanship and grandeur, sighed loudly enough for the one standing next to him to hear, "Why can't we build so today? Why can't we build with such pride, such craftsmanship today? After all, we now have better technology and facilities than back then!"

The other man replied, "Well, they had convictions; we, mostly, only opinions!  They had passion; we, mostly, only fashion!"

Reflection on experience

Last week, while in Goa the emphasis of the workshop and meeting was on focusing on the impact of our work, rather than carrying out charity in old mode of merely doling out.  The effort (or rather, the demand of donors and benefactors) to show how our work would impact the society, rather than merely do some good is indeed a challenge.  

While not everything in life can be measured in terms of quantifying an impact, the stress on making every effort be geared towards an impact (long term wider and deeper process initiation) can never be discounted or disregarded. 

One tangible and necessary strategy of adapting an impact-focused effort is the personal discipline of REFLECTION on EXPERIENCE.  Everyday we undergo so much in life.  There are so many experiences we gain.  But unless and until we are willing to REFLECT on those - if not all, at least some, and that too seriously - we tend to miss out on a very valuable means of growth, of training, of formation! 

A sincere reflection, I believe, will lead me to make sensible CHOICES.  And a string of consistent and bold choices invariably lead to better CHARACTER.  

Doing the best

With all the talk and push for greater visibility and marketing of our services, in contrast to the earlier humble silent 'do-your-own-work' mode, there is always the risk that one may go overboard with this advertising model.  

I firmly believe that we truly need to showcase our works; not so much to impress others but to put out there what we truly do, in the light of all the rumours, character-assassination and negative media bias.  Nonetheless, we do what we do because we are truly convinced of it and give it our best. 

It is said that Michealangelo while painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would spend hours doing very fine art work.  One of his young artist students asked him as to why go through so much pain and effort at something no one will notice from the ground.  "Why put in so much when no one will notice?" To which Michaelangelo seemed to have replied, "I will!"  I do what I do, because I can and I will! 

Religious life and bitterness

I returned home yesterday from a visit to a few of our communities in the Vijayawada-Guntur region.  Add to that my daily quota of phone calls from confreres expressing their difficulties and issues.  All this makes me wonder, if only we are able to find and celebrate those reasons that bind and unite us than thrive in meticulously finding reasons to fight and differ from one another.  

In each community there are SO MANY factors and possibilities that can bring us together.  Yet time and again, we choose to see the few frailties and shortcomings of one another and harp on them to such an extent that neither do I do anything worthwhile nor do I let others do any good.  Together we spend our time, energy and passion in tearing down one another!  

I know there is no magical formula to better the situation.  But I truly wonder, if after years of formation and training, this is what we end up as, then there is something wrong in our priorities or methodology.  

This image truly expresses my present feeling and experience! 

Two vocation stories and a funeral

Today a few of us attended the funeral of Ms Thumma Agathamma, the aunt of Mr Gopu Balareddy.  Although the aunt, he respected and loved her more than his own mother, because it was she who brought him up. 

Before and during the funeral Mass, listening to the virtues of the deceased and her adopted son, it struck me that both of them have been utterly selfless and generous towards the Church, especially priests and religious.  Their respect for the clergy and their charitable works has been truly commendable.  Certainly Mr Balareddy imbibed this virtue from his aunt.  

Nonetheless the thought that occurred to me was that if at all they continued in their religious life, which they both did try to discern and choose sometime early in life,  their impact on the Andhra Church and those lives they touch(ed) would not have been the same. I feel they have been of greater help to the Church as lay people than if the were to have  become priest or a nun!  

That is what I believe is the mystery of a vocation (any vocation, be that of a priest or a businessman, of a religious or a housewife).  It is a call to which one is invited to respond. Not a mere career one chooses by oneself. 

Differentiating output, outcome and impact

Attending the workshop on understanding social impact management, I found myself at a loss and some topics going over my head.  Nonetheless I did grasp most of the points about project writing and related matters. Although the last session of the impact management on evaluation and stuff was too nuanced for me to understand. 

However, what surprised me was the availability of resources and methods of conceptualising and articulating a project proposal.  Among the participants, I may have been the only guy who was not from the Planning and developmental (PDO) works sector... although ironically  I'm supposed to be the director of our Province PDO. So quite a bit of it was new for me.  But looking around, I was surprised to see that there were others too who appeared to be hearing these things for the first time. 

One of my learning has been the distinction between output, outcome and impact, especially in the social work area. 

Although at several moments of the workshop I found myself deciding that I should delve more into this, I resisted the temptation. With my plate full and overflowing, I need to first get my act straight before taking up new hobbies! 

Trouble with numbers and money

Yesterday during the council meeting, the secretary fumbled at a point while reading the minutes or report.  He fumbled while reading numerical digits running into lakhs.  He was not really familiar with lakhs and crores and therefore was struggling to understand and read those numbers.  

I chuckled to myself at that moment as I was reminded of my own exact predicament when I was the secretary myself, years ago.  What amused me was not the memory of my own struggle, but the fact that I was now sitting at that very same table, 18 years later as the financial head (Economer) having to handle and read those numbers everyday!! 

Of course, not always are those lakhs and crores appearing in our bank accounts, but more often as debts and payments!!! 

Letting go

During our session on Social impact management by Ms Anita Rego, I was struck by one particular point she mentioned early in her presentation. 

She spoke about respecting the life of the beneficiaries whom we reach out to and often make a remarkable contribution in alleviating pain and suffering.  She said that once we make this intervention, at times over years and varied means, and the individual is free of that what stifled his or her growth and life, we must let that life grow by itself.  Just because we have made a difference in the life that individual does not mean that the person has to be indebted to us for the rest of his/her life.  I do not 'own' that person.  He/she is totally free to live his/her life on his/her own terms.  Neither do I have to feel entitled to his/her decisions or plans nor has that individual to feel 'burdened' under our 'charity'.