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15 December 2017

Mixed prayers

This morning as I entered the Chapel for morning prayer and Mass, I was quite excited, happy, thrilled and relieved... all at the same time.  Thanks to the information I received the previous day regarding my research proposal.

As we began morning prayer, I found it weird that I was reciting Psalm 50 (Have mercy on me God in your kindness...) today being Friday.  My present state of mind and heart was anything but in that mood!  And for the first time in years I realised that what I truly felt and the sentiments I was uttering as I recited the psalm had no connection.  In my heart I was truly happy but here I was praying for mercy and forgiveness.

And I've been praying these psalms for donkeys years, everyday - twice!  Certainly I was only reciting, never really conscious of whether the psalm or canticle I was reading embodied my true feelings and state of being.

I'm aware that the compiled psalms in our breviaries are the 'hand-downs' of centuries of prayer and reflection.  And I can't imagine the confusion if the 7 of us in the community were to have the same mood and to choose the same psalm and then recite it together. But ...

Anyway am happy that at least for one day, on one occasion I was conscious of what I was reciting while praying! 

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