Self-sustainability or apostolate sustainability

 Investment in the revenue generating institutions to increase self-sustainability… while this investment is being done, are we undoing the apostolates/places (boardings, street children,) where this revenue is to be spent? Seen positively, we could be moving from institutional structures to non-institutional apostolate (scholarships, migrants,) . But needs to be made consciously and strategically, not sporadically or ‘unconsciously’. Also, this needs to be done, with a new and different mindset; not the same old doling out mode. Negatively, there is an erosion of the ‘poor’ from our sphere of apostolate. 

Self-deceiving illusion

 Very often we live in a world of our own.  We fail to see our own shortcomings but see others faults very clearly. We speak and act as if what I think and do are the best and the most appropriate means to success.  What others think or do is always messy and insufficient.  

The tragedy is when we consistently do this, and make ourselves believe that this self-image is right. Everything else and everyone else has to change. Not I!  

Blessed are those who can view themselves with the same lens as we see others.  And see others, as we see ourselves! 

Closer home

 A natural human tendency that one gets to see most often in strenuous or long pilgrimages or journeys: no matter how weary or tired one is, the awareness of being closer to home or destination spurs us on greatly.  There is an adrenalin rush when one sees home or the finishing line in sight.  

I remember the Student cross pilgrimage walk from Ely to Walshingham nearly 5 years ago.  As we were getting closer to the Shrine, the sound and gusto of our hymns and singing increased. Our feet naturally gained fresh strength, even though we were dragging our feet after three days of continuous walk and climb. A couple of youngsters even broke down in joyful tears when we stepped into the small chapel at the place.  Embracing one another, jumping about, shaking hands... all with such enthusiasm and freshness, as if we just started our journey that morning.  There were no traces of our long journey (except for our stench of not having bathed for three days!).  

Religious vows

 When we make our vows, as religious men and women, we really never understand fully the depth of its implications!  Even if we do understand it to a great extent, we often do not live it fully!  

The vow indicates a total surrender. A complete submission of all of ourselves.  Holding back nothing.  But our human insecurities prevent us from this complete surrender or total submission.  In the process, we neither live our human life fully nor our religious vows.  Worse is when we make use of one for the other, merely for our personal petty plans! 

Fr James Kudiyirippil - funeral oration

 Fr James Kudiyirippil SDB - Funeral oration

06 July 2024 

It is often said that when we watch people from afar they appear nice and good; but when we start to closely interact with them or live with them, we see how flawed they are. 

I consider myself fortunate to have had both these opportunities with Fr James. I’ve seen and observed him from a distance as my headmaster, right since my early days of schooling at Don Bosco School, Mothinagar and later from close quarters, as a fellow Salesian, and as a friend, also to my whole family. But the beauty of it all was that I found Fr James the same all along: simple, hardworking and totally unassuming. 

As news of his passing away was made known, several of my school mates started posting their memories of Fr James on our class X whatsapp group. Allow me to present a few of them: 

In my fifth class itself he made me give my first speech on stage on the occasion of Fr Lens’ birthday. He made me practice day and night and I was impromptu on the stage that day. That was my first experience. 

What I am today especially in communication is because of him. He played a very important role in my life. 

I have special memories of him coach us for basketball and we made him super happy winning tournaments. 

I recall the screenings of Benhur on his VCR. 

He was such a warm person, kind-hearted although looked strict. 

He served the school with dedication and compassion for years. He led the school with a firm but fair hand, fostering a nurturing environment that encouraged learning and growth. We miss you! 

These are just a few of the expressions of only my class X batchmates. If we were to compile even just a line of what each student felt, over the years that Fr James spent at Mothinagar it would take ages to go through. 

Fr James you always took great pride in your students. Every time I met you in the presence of others, you proudly claimed me to be your student. On my part, I always was and will ever be grateful to you for your great educative role in my life, in the life of my family, in the life of every staff and student who has had the good fortune of knowing you, be it at Mothinagar, Guntupalli, Gunadala or Karunapuram. 

Random memories that are forever etched in my mind: 

 Him playing cricket with us boys during holidays in the school ground, although he was never fond of cricket. Basketball and football were his favourite, but he never forced us to join those games, rather he joined us in what we liked to play. 

 Planting saplings along the playground (which are now huge trees along the ground at Mothinagar, all planted by my friends and I, under the supervision of Fr James). 

 Him addressing the young Salesians as ‘foolish fellow’ – but none took offence because it was said out of genuine love and concern. 

 His special hair-style, always the same and never a strand out of place! 

Well, dear Fr James, you were firm but fair, strict with us for our own good and with no personal agenda, you were kind to all those in need, generous with your time and priestly help to all those approached you. 

Thank you for your inspiration and good example of hard unassuming work, of personal and professional discipline, of loving kindness like that of Don Bosco… and most of all, for being an integral part of my life and growth. You will always be remembered! Thank you dear Fr James!

School days - or holidays - with Fr James

 Fr James has been hanging on to his dear life for almost a week now. His mind is still active, but communication is totally incoherent. So we don't know what exactly is he going through.  

This evening as I was trying to recollect some memories of him, as my headmaster, I barely could remember any.  Very vague images of him walking around the campus and corridors in cassock, him standing and addressing the school assembly on the 'new' stage, him taking social studies for us in class X (his topics were more about his trips and experiences than social!).  But something very clear is his joining us for games during holidays.  

Every summer some of us would be in the school ground morning and evening.  Fr James would join us in the evenings.  If by chance he was gardening then we'd also end up gardening - not because we wanted it, but he got us to do it!! But he would join us for games.  However it struck me, in all those months and years we played, every summer and holiday time, we always played cricket!  There is only twice or thrice in a whole lifetime that I would have played basketball.  And I remember him playing with us (along with Rajiv, the electrician and some brothers).  And then, perhaps a dozen times we would have played football.  Even those football games I remember him, making clever passes, without running much or dodging!  He also played some odd games we played. Like the one with sticks and stones - he still remembers that very fondly!  Then some game with the small rubber ball alone - which Fr Benji never understood! But for the rest (perhaps 98% of the time) we played cricket!  And all that while, not once, do I remember him complaining or trying to coax us to play basketball - which was his favourite. Nor did he belittle our games and playing style. He would correct us if we did a mistake. We also turned to him for final decisions on disputed matters, even though he belonged to one of the teams as a player.  But never did he utter a word moaning or grumbling about anything.  He truly was with us, enjoying the game - even when it was never his favourite games.