Am grateful!

 Standing at this juncture and looking back at the year that has been, am asking myself what am I most grateful for, right now at this very moment??  

I truly am grateful for this opportunity to continue my PhD research.  On the academic front, truly this year has been a year of long silent gaps, change of questions and directions, more lows than any highs, and so to have scraped through the annual review with the chance to continue and finish this doctorate, appears a real blessing.  And for this am more than grateful to all the people who've supported and encouraged me to persist: confreres here in the community, back in the province, family members, friends from all over who have truly made me feel worthwhile and capable - especially in moments when I felt low and desperate. For the deep affection and fervent prayers of so many wonderful people, I truly am grateful!!  

Jesus the migrant

One thought that has recurred in my mind this advent is the fact that the one whose birthday we celebrate, the feast which practically means so much for most of the western world, Christmas which means so much to so many in so many different ways is actually the celebration of a migrant birth!!  

That Jesus was born outside his own home, his own parent's house, that too in a stable, a lowly place considered fit only for domestic animals, is so often repeated in our sermons and reflections, but we can sum it all into one word: being a migrant, a refugee, a stranger in a lowly and lonely place.  Amazingly we celebrate this birth with such great festivities, yet choose not to be disturbed by the way we treat the stranger and the lonely, the 'other'.  

Not just the child Jesus, but practically every other Biblical character was a refugee, a migrant at some crucial point of his or her life, if not the entire life itself: Abraham was on the move, after he thought he had set his roots,  Moses had to flee from his brother, Joseph was sold into slavery and imprisoned in Egypt... why, even Adam was evicted from his first home, by none other than God himself!! 

While there are numerous generous and noble people today (as in times before) who open their hands and hearts to the migrants and refugees, it is alarming to see the modern world speckled with countless refugee camps and agonising immigration processes that dehumanise persons - most often, in the name of securing the dignity of other human beings.  

So I ask myself, how justified am I everytime I claim something as 'mine'... my land, my home, my property, my inheritance, my rights... what is the cost of making something 'mine'?  Can there be a 'mine' wherein the other is not denied 'his'?  How do I happily make the journey from 'mine' to 'ours'? 

What's my real need?

 The first reading of the day offers us a glimpse of why and on what basis was Jesus' coming as messiah read - or misinterpreted - by the people of His time. That he was looked upon as a saviour, a political liberator of the Jews from the rule of the Romans should not come as a surprise given the history of what the Jews have all along been fed.  

The reading from the book of Judges tells of the circumstances in which Samson is born and what the angel tells his mother prior to his conception and birth... 

"As for the son you will conceive and bear, no razor shall touch his head, for this boy is to be consecrated to God from the womb. It is he who will begin the deliverance of Israel from the power of the Philistines."

Moreover I do understand the angst of the Jews, especially those who felt burdened by the yoke of the Romans - and perhaps their own religious elders.  One would naturally want to be delivered and saved from such an existential risk and danger, than seek spiritual emancipation. Given this situation, spiritual emancipation appears more of a luxury in comparison to the basic question of survival posed by other existential circumstances.  To a person on the brink of starvation, if one were to offer a choice between food and the Eucharist, what would the person choose?  I certainly would choose food.  That the Eucharist is also food, and all that theology comes only later.  Not at that moment of extreme hunger and need.  

Root of Jesse

 Jesus' actual life story and place in history is far from the analogical 'root of Jesse'.  Hearing the genealogy of Jesus and the whole way Jesus is related to David and right upto Abraham, he is more like the shoot that springs up from a rather battered sapling or tree that has been itself transplanted several times.  The more apt analogy would be of a shoot that rises from a fallen stump... not just a solid tree, but one that has been battered and cut and left for dead.  From that neglected stump, a new life springs up and grows into a flourishing tree.  

All of this takes nothing away from the Scriptural imagery and importance we hear during the advent season, especially during the days of the Christmas novena.  

Identifying the Lord

 Most people who enter an active field of work, after a prolonged period of theoretical study and even stimulated practice will vouch for the fact that the actual task itself is nothing compared to what they've been preparing themselves for all along.  No soldier would say that actual war and killing is the same as all the drill and practice they've had before hand.  No matter how many years a medical student practices his or her medicine, the first surgery is always different.  One may participate in a holy Mass all ones life, yet celebrating the first Mass as a priest is a totally different experience altogether. Nothing ever prepares one for reality.  Meeting reality in its crude and actual form is much more than all that one undergoes in order to prepare one when one encounters it.  

John the Baptist was born in order to prepare for the Lord.  He himself knew this all too well and did a great job.  Yet when the Lord himself appeared on the scene, John was not sure if He was the Messiah.  So he sends out his disciples to ask Jesus directly if he is the messiah.  After all those years of being and doing what he was doing, even John the Baptist was not 100% sure when he met Jesus.  The same as any army personnel or a surgeon or a newly ordained priest.  There is something more than the sum of all preparation that eludes one when one encounters the actual reality.  That first or actual encounter is lesson in its own right.  

So I ask myself, if John the Baptist whose mission was to prepare the way, did not instantly recognise the messiah, what chance do I have of recognising or identifying - leave alone worshipping - Him?  One way it is to be always ready, and treat everyone as the messiah.  A perpetual advent!  Another way would be to ask the Lord himself!!  

Writing

Academic writing, I've come to accept (and give in to), is painful!!  It is so devoid of feelings and passion, that it feels nothing!!  Yet is a mental torture - for the one writing (at least for me) and for the one reading!  

I've realised that's the only way forward. I don't see any other way out of completing my studies.  So far, I wrote what gripped me, what I truly felt was significant.  It was much much more than mere words for a dissertation.  It had to have a personal relevance to me, if it had to find a place in my text.  But I guess, that does not count for much.  To be academically accepted and approved, it ought to be complicated, incomprehensible to anyone outside the academia, and most importantly I've got to stop getting personally involved, in the sense of seeking meaning, something special for myself!  Just the head and not the heart! 

And what am I writing about?? Language and meaning!! 

Formation blues

 There is a lovely scene in the movie 'Hidden figures' when the chief of the space project tells his main supervisor who constantly brushes aside the only black female 'super computer' who calculates the mathematical side of the space project to the moon, that his main job is to look for talent and nurture it, not curb it. 

Having spent more than a decade in formation settings, as a formator, I ask myself, how much of a talent have I recognised in those I've lived with, especially the students - leave alone encouraged and nurtured it?  

Perhaps most of us formators are looking for ways and means of 'moulding' the students into a particular cast.  So we'd be more keen about trimming their eccentricities and creativities, rather than see how those can further the Salesian mission. The former method is easier to carry out and well formulated in our guidebooks, in comparison to the latter! The latter requires an interpretation of the guidelines... multiply the interpretations with the number of students we engage with!!  But that's formation.  That's the task of a formator.  The regularity and constancy to this process is brought in by his/her person, not the bending of everyone else to one's monolithic interpretation. 

Creativity

 How does one define or explain 'creativity'? In simple words it is 'divergent thinking' that results in effective and surprising consequences - not all of which can be good or beneficial.  While it is good to learn and know that 2 + 2 = 4.  Now that's a single, linear, unchallengeable, correct answer.  But to the question 'What equals 4?' there could be numerous answers, and all of them correct.   

While effectiveness and novelty, are the resulting offshoots of creativity, certain factors contribute towards the origin of creative ideas or works: 

• an openness of mind towards alternatives, but for a specific purpose (or else any thinking could be branded creative!)
• willingness to take risks (greater the risk to personal aspects rather than others, the better it steers the creative act away from being a negative or malevolent one - at least, it is not negatively intended)
• availability of time (but for some, the opposite could be true!)

Smacking laugh

 The last couple of months have been tough - for various reasons and on various fronts!  Am getting myself to blog, not because circumstances have changed, but strongly feel that it is I that needs to change and adapt rather than wait for 'favourable circumstances'.  Hence want to start writing even if it is just a line or two - and what better day than on Fr Joshtrom's b'day and the beginning of Advent!  

For now something light... 

Came across the following photo while reading a news articles a couple of weeks ago which spoke of Scotland making smacking of children illegal.  While the article itself was not of great importance for me but what caught my eye was the photograph!  Know not if the editors purposely put in that photo (at least the text didn't give any such indication!) or was that quizzical look on the toddler's face, as if reading the placard, just coincidental.  Anyway, have had it on my desktop, just to cheer me up! 

To get a better contextual idea (and enjoy the original), here's the news article: Scotland makes smacking illegal